Rodeo Roundup: TWERK IST KVLT

Y’all, Thanksgiving is officially four weeks away. I just made a Facebook event and a Google doc for this year’s KVLTSGIVING (vegan black metal theme). What, you’ve never heard of the Vegan Black Metal Chef? You realize this is the internet, right? Anyway, I don’t even have a Halloween costume yet because it’s really difficult for me to concentrate on Halloween costumes when there are pumpkin gnocchi recipes to try out and egg substitutes to experiment with (ground flaxseed, by the way).

Everybody already knows about the gross vomit that dribbled out of Richard Mourdouck’s mouth earlier this week but can we talk about the excess of vowels in dude’s last name? No but for real here’s a gif of Tina Fey saying a valid way to feel about this. His weird ideas about sexual assault, not vowels.

Bafflingly, Todd Akin continues to exist as a news item and Actual Political Candidate. Why? I HAVE NO ANSWERS FOR YOU. This dude is not only a total cretin nowadays but guess what he has always been a cretin! I have to hand it to him – he’s the real deal. Look at it this way: Todd Akin is to the main clique of Washington anti-choicers as that guy you work with who went to Flaming Lips warehouse shows in the ’80s is to everyone at the OKC New Years’ show every year. Game recognize game, but um no I don’t know where we’re going afterwards man sorry !!! byeeeee happy RNC good luck at ur election  :)))

We published a snarky lil’ write-up on the Oklahoma WIC/Planned Parenthood shamefest last week, and this week OK Policy Blog got on board with an awesome post chock full of, you know, facts and information! Elsewhere on the mine field where reproductive rights go to die – by which I mean all three branches of Oklahoma government – the U.S. District Court trying the most scrapbooked contraception mandate case yet is being firmly invited by federal attorneys to not bring hell down on itself by ruling in favor of Hobby Lobby.

To their infinitesimal credit, CNN’s editors took down the article they posted asking the VERY PERTINENT question: Are ladies estrogen robots? If you are a ladie don’t u bleed or something what if that makes it hard to think about PRESIDENT? What if ladies mistake ballots for a cosmo quiz. Can we hire some men to persuade a women to stop PMSing and maybe do democracy instead lol ?? LOL oh American beltway news media y’all are the WORST, GTFO. Seriously, 24-hour news networks are 99% worthless garbage, You Heard It On OK4RJ First. What moving picture should I look at instead of yucky pundits, you might be asking? Lucky for you, I’ve been collecting twerk gifs all week.

Special alert to folks who take care of kids and who want to indoctrinate said kids with all kinds of scary anarchistic doctrines: Here is a book that has a tiny upraised fist on the cover! I can’t decide if this is a great idea or the best idea. A is for Activism is written and illustrated by Innosanto Nagara and introduces concepts like environmental racism and cooperative housing in a classic A-B-C format. All I got as a kid were nerdy zoology books from my parents’ nerdy zoology friends. I know everyone had Stellaluna but how about Tutu Nene? A Water Snake’s Year? Anyone?

This Aaliyah song samples baby noises and because of that I declare it relevant to this news roundup. Babies will one day be children that you can give that book to. Why am I trying to justify this video to you? Aaliyah was fucking perfect, R.I.P.

Pearl is making steady eye contact with twitter from across the room.