I figured if some movie that has people licking popcorn oil off theater seats can say they are the “Citizen Kane of ass-less jeans and body oil,” then this post shall be equally prestigious.
Did you have a good fourth? I personally can”t wait until all the little jerks who were popping fire crackers over the last week finally decide to take a break, all sweet in their toy car beds.. and then..yeah. I”ll just stare at them.
In other entertainment news, it looks like some movie ushers have decided that they too need a conscience clause within their position. Right. So maybe that”s why an employee at a theater in Seattle decided to tell everyone going to a certain movie about a lil abobo in the movie? (duh, spoiler in the link. Thank the usher)
I guess we all have those embarrassing relatives, right? Not the sassy “it”s 5″oclock somewhere!” aunt or “I can fart the alphabet” cousin type-but the HOLYSHITWHYAREYOUSOAWFUL? I guess Native Oklahoman/90″s dream hunk Brad Pitt is no exception. Momma Pitt wrote in and said some homophobic, sexist, and racist things to her local Missouri paper, and now it”s everywhere. I wonder how that phone call went.
Hey! Maybe we found out why MittensRomCom is such a douchcanoe? No? Okay then. Then maybe it”s because he made lots of $$ from poisoning workers and disposing of medical waste that includes fetal tissue from abortion procedures even though he really, really, really loves
fetuses money? Well, damn. I guess we”ll never know why he”s such a tremendous, gooey eyed, fry sauce eatin, shitheel.
Everyone”s favorite local Lady Gaga impersonator (governor Fallins daughter) went and got married again this week. Her other marriage was annulled a couple of weeks ago. Oh the sanctity of divorce is so civilized. I am honestly still super sad about the Bacon/Fallin duo “MilkOnMilk” breaking up. C”est la vie, y”all! Wow, two bigoted moms in this week”s roundup!
“Member that “I wanna marry a fertilized egg” dude from last week? Well, some people got pissed off and vandalized his house. That”s unfortunate. But I do have to wonder if the irony is lost on him. Considering he used to spend hours outside of clinics, hanging around Operation Rescue, harassing people? Yeah, it probably is.
I”m not a good enough writer to articulate the rage I feel towards . And now that it”s just being covered up-again. I can”t even begin to imagine or relate. It was just so senseless.
So that”s kind of some news. I”ve got some kids to go stare at. They are off popping those damn firecrackers again. Enjoy the weekend, folks. Stay hydrated with Carlos Rossi and go dancin!
Molly is heading to Kansas City this weekend, and that means one thing and one thing only: Trader Joes binge. You might not want to follow her on twitter. Her new house has a low-flow terlet and she”s always cussing about it.